I'd wear matching sweaters with you
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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