i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
