Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
