I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
