dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
