My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
