Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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