Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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