If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
