I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
vagina is talking i cant
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
