i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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