Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
