What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
