Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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