My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
