I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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