he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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