Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
