somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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