when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
