I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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