I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
