Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
