with your own penis?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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