Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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