hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wannas sexs uuuuu
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
