I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
