i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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