Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
