He is such a slut. More and more my type.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just invented taco cereal.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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