guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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