i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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