new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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