i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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