I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
