He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
