i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
