My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
