Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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