Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
