I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
