I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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