Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
