Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize