So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
