She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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