Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
