belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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