This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
