i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
