Betty ford says i'm here all night
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
