Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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