Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
only if we run a train.
done.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
