Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
