There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
