brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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