is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
