I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
