oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
