You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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