I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
