how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
