Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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