Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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