I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
