Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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